Commisioned?

It's exactly a week before I leave Sapporo and head down south for my week long excursion in Kyoto and Nara. I can't believe how fast time has passed; BUT at the same time it feels like I've been here forever. I've grown used to life here in Japan and even felt the weekday grind. How can you not when everyday you see tired salarymen (sometimes reeking of a morning scotch and soda) and students drag themselves to the subway, catching Z's while hanging onto subway rings or almost resting their head on the stranger's shoulder next to them. Once, I saw three high school guys sleeping on each other, the middle guy with heads on both his shoulders. He even woke them both up when it was near their stop. (Ps. it was the middle of the day, back when I had afternoon classes.) They looked like brothers.

Though I still don't know everything my host family and the McDonald's workers say to me, (I can understand about 80-85%) I feel like I've improved tremendously in every way of learning Japanese. Reading kanji, (though my memory of how to write it sucks) speaking, listening, using new grammar, pronunciation, accent, asking questions in Japanese, my timing of response? Apparently that's what my host mom says that has improved a lot.. listening and how quickly I respond. I attribute my improvement largely to the homestay.

When I first came, I would have to ask her to repeat whatever she said slowly, (one crucial phrase I learned how to say while on the plane coming here) process it, then translate my English response into Japanese. Now, I can pretty much think, for the most part, in Japanese. Though it takes me a while to warm up to it, and I get a lot better if I drink.

This past weekend, I started making reservations for my trip. A little late, I know. I kind of hit a small slump: not wanting to write, take pictures, or have any connection to where I came from. I also got pretty sick. Going to beer gardens didn't help, but it sure was fun. :P

When I finally started searching for where I wanted to go, opting to only go to two places but exploring them as much as possible, (I decided not to get ask Apa to send me a JR pass and found a cheap-ish flight) I realized that I felt like I was running low on funds. When I received a total sum of $2,000 from family and relatives for the trip + (I think) some of my own money , I thought for sure I wouldn't spend half of it; I even thought it wouldn't be possible for me to, even if I tried. But I guess I made a couple big, but important purchases. An electronic dictionary, a monthly commuter pass (my host mom screwed up when I first got in because she said there was only a 3 week pass which was the same price as a month long one with the 3 week one being more flexible with where you could go), the occasional nomi/tabe hodai and karaoke splurge. It all added up.

When I asked her for help in finding cheaper places to stay and things to do, (capsule hotels, internet cafes, business hotels, even love hotels. I thought about sleeping the Nara park for one night...) In no way am I in dire need of money, but I was getting nervous since I had already reached the halfway mark and the itinerary I made up may be a little rough at times. I told my host mom that I felt pretty guilty about spending the money and a little worried. Then she asked me an interesting question:

So you got all this money from your parents, aunts, uncles, relatives, brother... etc. Shouldn't you try to spend as little as possible? Why do you want to go to a ryokan, onsen, expensive-ish hotels in Kyoto and Nara? Andrew and Maria are in a different situation. They've saved up their own money for 2 or 3 years so they could use it for their trip. What is the reason that they(my parents) gave you all this money?

I was びっくりした, surprised, when she said this. Not because I thought it was rude, but because I had never given it a real thought. At first, I didn't know how to respond. And then I thought of a couple conjectures. Why would they give me money for this trip or (for any other reason)? Because DJ and I go to Penn and we worked hard during our compulsory education years? No, doesn't sound right. Because they love me and DJ? Because they know how badly I wanted to come to Japan? Because we're good kids? Well yes, those things are true, but we're nearly not the best sons nor flawless. [My host mom also doesn't know that Mom used the money in her savings account to pay for my tuition and homestay. I plan on paying her back]

I couldn't come up with a good reason.

But I think I've thought of a different way to look at my trip other than to only improve my Japanese and sight-see: The money that they(not just my parents) have given me, is my pay to commission a project. To document my time here in Japan, and show how it is changing me: my thoughts, emotions, mood, lifestyle. I will then present it through this blog, my photos and various emails. I will then pass at least level 2 of the JPLT.

Well and also, Mom wants some fresh delicious mochi from the Narita airport. :D [mind you, that's not the only gift I'm bringing back home.]

Thank you Mom, Apa, DJ, Auntie, Uncle, and everyone! Please know I love you and that your money is not going to waste. I'll finish my half written posts during the next couple of days. And I think I'll actually finally write about the first week I spent here. It was pretty interesting. I'll do my best! 頑張ります！

Random sidenote: It's weird. Sometimes I find myself desperately wanting to speak English. It's a strange feeling. Whenever this happens, I say simple sentences unnecessarily loud to my host family as a joke. And when I'm with friends at school, I indulge in the fact that outside of class they speak their own native tongue. Strange to think that school is a rest from speaking Japanese.